How Are We Doing?

I figured I had better update everyone on how we are doing.  I will repeat what I said on Facebook.  We are completely humbled at the outpouring of prayers and encouragement we have received.  I have no idea how we would be functioning without all of you who have lifted us up in prayer this week.  On Monday I spent the day wanting Tuesday to come.  On Tuesday I didn't feel any better.  It was a constant roller coaster of emotions.  I felt fear for the future, doubt in my abilities to parent a child with special needs, anger that other families were coming home with "healthy" children, peace that God was near, and comfort knowing that God has "got this".  We heard so many amazing stories from many of you of how God worked miracles in the lives of your friends and loved ones.  We cling to the hope that God will perform a miracle in Kahsay's brain also, however we are trying to keep ourselves grounded in the reality that maybe that is not Kahsay's story.  My dad reminded me that God has already performed a miracle in Kahsay's life.  If he would have stayed in Ethiopia his quality of life would look very different.

At this point we are taking it moment by moment.  Not focusing on the fears of the future is difficult.  Questions like:  How would life change if he has to be in a wheelchair?  Will he need a feeding tube someday?  Will we be taking him to therapy for the rest of his life?  Will he experience the joy of running and playing outside? Will he understand the love his biological parents had for him?  Will we ever hear him say, "I love you"?  and so on and so on...... On the day we found out about his diagnosis the words I read in the devotional book Jesus Calling spoke strongly to me.

"No matter what your circumstances may be, you can find joy in My presence.  Some days are overcast and gloomy; you feel the strain of the journey, which seems endless.  Begin by remembering that I have created this day; it is not a chance occurrence.  Recall  that I am present with you whether you sense My Presence or not.  Rejoice in the fact that I understand you perfectly, and I know exactly what you are experiencing. "

I know God is saddened by this.  I know He weeps with me when I physically can't hold it together.  I know He hates to see His children suffer.  I also know He loves Kahsay and will never let him go.  I can only stay positive because we serve a God that has given me a "crazy peace" ( a term another mom of a special needs child used).  It is a peace I cannot explain.  It is a peace that only comes from Him.

We have an appointment with the Neuro Child Development Center at DeVos Children's Hospital on November 16.  We look forward to meeting with them to hear their advice on our next steps.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.