Struggling to Wait

This month we will be officially waiting for 1 year and 2 months. We have been on this journey now for 1 year and 8 months. I never imagined we would reach the 2 year mark. I will admit until now the wait was not so bad. We are busy at home with our 3 girls, and enjoying every new stage with them. Well......I am DONE waiting. I just want to meet our "little man". I want to see his face. I want to know how old he is. I want to know his story. Lately I try to picture what he will look like. In my mind he usually looks like a mix of all the little Ethiopian boys I have gotten to know through blogs. I think the wait is getting to be so difficult because we know we could get a call soon from our case worker. His room is ready. We pray for him and his family everyday. I think of him at least every 10 minutes, and our girls talk about it daily. At the beginning of this process when people used to ask how many kids I have, I would respond by telling them, three girls. Now when asked this question, I respond by telling them 3 girls and a boy on the way. Of course I usually have to explain. It's like being pregnant for 1 year 8 months. Now I feel OVERDUE!
I will explain how the referral process goes for those of you who are not in the adoption world. When we get a call from our caseworker she will tell us she has a child for us. She will then send us his picture and any information they have about him. We will first cry, scream, jump up and down, hug, kiss, etc. After we accept the referral and fill out crazy amounts of paperwork, we will wait for Ethiopia to schedule a court date for us. When a court date is scheduled we will travel to meet him (YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). We will spend a week visiting and loving on him, and then leave him (BOOOOOOO!). The next time we travel will be to take him home with us forever. It seems like this is just not even possible.
I guess I would ask for prayers for patience, peace, and trust in God's plan and timing. (and of course a referral)

Crazy Love

We have been studying the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan at our church. It has been extremely challenging and makes you look at your life choices in a serious way. Today I was reading one of the chapters and was hit hard by what Francis said, "How we live our days.....is how we live our lives. We each need to discover for ourselves how to live this day in faithful surrender to God as we "continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. (Phil 2:12)"

It makes me ask myself the hard questions:
Do I surrender each day to God?
Do I see each day as an opportunity to live out my faith in Christ?
Do I make the most of each moment I have with my children?
Do I view my children as HIS, created for HIS service?
How do I spend my time during the day?
How do I spend my money?
Is my home used for HIS purpose and not just mine to look cute and organized?

and so on and and so on....

This book for sure has been life changing. My response is to take time to seek Him to see where in my life I need to change. I need to step out in faith and trust God will be there to see me through. I need to surrender my life to Him daily, and even hourly.

When I think of this adoption journey, it defintely has taken faith. We felt a strong calling, and God has been faithful every step. I need to trust that God will see us through to the end of this, and though I know there will be very difficult transitions, I need to trust that He will bless the surrender.