Trusting in HIS plan

I know I have not kept up with updating everyone lately, but I think it is because I am so discouraged. We did get our new numbers for November, however it is not a new number. Our number is- 8. We did not move at all, in fact we may even be 9 because a family recently lost a referral. There have not been any referrals going out. I wish I could share the reason why, but I have no idea. I was so hoping we would have a picture of our "little guy" by Christmas, but no such luck. I know God knows what is best for us, but waiting is hard. I know I need to be patient and know God's timing is perfect, but waiting is hard.

Recently I had someone say, "What if this adoption doesn't happen?" I responded by saying, "IT WILL!" He responded with, "You don't know that." I responded by saying, "YES I DO!" He responded again with, "It might not. Then what?" I was a bit thrown back at his negative attitude. I did respond by saying, "Then I guess He has another reason for calling us to this journey." I left it at that and decided to drop the subject. I will admit recently with the lack of referrals, I have begun to wonder if it really will happen. Would God call us to this journey and not give us the gift of a child at the end? I do believe God knows best. I do believe He is going to take care of us. I do believe God is a loving and compassionate God. I DO BELIEVE WE WILL BE THE PROUD PARENTS OF A LITTLE BOY VERY SOON!

Struggling to Wait

This month we will be officially waiting for 1 year and 2 months. We have been on this journey now for 1 year and 8 months. I never imagined we would reach the 2 year mark. I will admit until now the wait was not so bad. We are busy at home with our 3 girls, and enjoying every new stage with them. Well......I am DONE waiting. I just want to meet our "little man". I want to see his face. I want to know how old he is. I want to know his story. Lately I try to picture what he will look like. In my mind he usually looks like a mix of all the little Ethiopian boys I have gotten to know through blogs. I think the wait is getting to be so difficult because we know we could get a call soon from our case worker. His room is ready. We pray for him and his family everyday. I think of him at least every 10 minutes, and our girls talk about it daily. At the beginning of this process when people used to ask how many kids I have, I would respond by telling them, three girls. Now when asked this question, I respond by telling them 3 girls and a boy on the way. Of course I usually have to explain. It's like being pregnant for 1 year 8 months. Now I feel OVERDUE!
I will explain how the referral process goes for those of you who are not in the adoption world. When we get a call from our caseworker she will tell us she has a child for us. She will then send us his picture and any information they have about him. We will first cry, scream, jump up and down, hug, kiss, etc. After we accept the referral and fill out crazy amounts of paperwork, we will wait for Ethiopia to schedule a court date for us. When a court date is scheduled we will travel to meet him (YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). We will spend a week visiting and loving on him, and then leave him (BOOOOOOO!). The next time we travel will be to take him home with us forever. It seems like this is just not even possible.
I guess I would ask for prayers for patience, peace, and trust in God's plan and timing. (and of course a referral)

Crazy Love

We have been studying the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan at our church. It has been extremely challenging and makes you look at your life choices in a serious way. Today I was reading one of the chapters and was hit hard by what Francis said, "How we live our days.....is how we live our lives. We each need to discover for ourselves how to live this day in faithful surrender to God as we "continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. (Phil 2:12)"

It makes me ask myself the hard questions:
Do I surrender each day to God?
Do I see each day as an opportunity to live out my faith in Christ?
Do I make the most of each moment I have with my children?
Do I view my children as HIS, created for HIS service?
How do I spend my time during the day?
How do I spend my money?
Is my home used for HIS purpose and not just mine to look cute and organized?

and so on and and so on....

This book for sure has been life changing. My response is to take time to seek Him to see where in my life I need to change. I need to step out in faith and trust God will be there to see me through. I need to surrender my life to Him daily, and even hourly.

When I think of this adoption journey, it defintely has taken faith. We felt a strong calling, and God has been faithful every step. I need to trust that God will see us through to the end of this, and though I know there will be very difficult transitions, I need to trust that He will bless the surrender.

September Number

We did get our email from our caseworker last night. I will admit I knew what number we were going to be because I found the blog of the family that is just before us on the wait list. They also want a 0-12 month. They received their numbers earlier this week so I pretty much knew we would be number:



It is crazy to think that we are now in the single digits!! Our caseworker will call us later this month to discuss the referral process. After 1 year and 6 months I never thought we would ever get to this point. Our girls still talk about him daily, and pray for him almost every night since we got on the wait list. We have his room all ready to go and Maia is now downstairs in a big girl bed. She still does not understand why "her" crib is in her brother's room. It was so fun to finally decorate a boy room.

On another note, I had the chance to meet with 8 other women who are either on the waiting list for adoption, or have just come home with their children. We met at 7:30 and did not leave the restaraunt until 10:30. It was such a God send!!! I needed to talk to other people who understand and know. I needed to hear the reality of the first few months, but also the blessings. I wish I could put into words what a blessing that night was to me. God knew just what I needed and connected me with one of these women back in May.

Now please pray as we near referral time that we will wait patiently for the Lord's plan.

What Are You Waiting For?

"What Are You Waiting For?" That was the title of my devotions this morning. It was based off of Psalm 40:1-5. This is what it said,

We wait for everything. For the dryer to finish. For our husbands to get home. For the phone to ring. For the baby to wake. For the mail to come. For the car to pull up, returning our child safely home. For a job. For answers to prayer. With so much experience, we're remarkably unskilled at waiting well. Waiting seems to us a colossal waste of time. But the fact is that while we are waiting, God is working. To move us where he wants us to be. To readjust the lives of others so that his ultimate desires will be fulfilled. To bring about what will make us eventually Christlike, though not necessarily immediately comfortable. What are we waiting for? And more to the point, how well are you waiting for it?

I loved this! It is so true that my life is spent waiting for the next change in my life, or the next stage of kids, or things as trivial as stated above. Even though this adoption process has taken much longer than we anticipated, God knows the best time for us to bring our "little man" home. There are times when I am waiting patiently and enjoying our family life right now. However, there are also those times when I am annoyed and just wanting to get him home. I think both can be good, but I am thankful through our waiting, GOD is working.

One year on the waitlist but the end is near

While we were camping this week we received our August number. I was happy with the movement seeing that the courts are closed for August and September.
We are.....



Yes we are number 12! This is becoming so real now. Being number 12 actually feels like this is really going to happen. This also causes a bit of anxiety for me. It causes me to be up during the night wondering what do we need to being doing to be ready for a referral.

We had a AGCI picnic today and it was such a blessing. Jason stayed home while Maia slept so it was just me and the girls. I had the chance to talk with families who have both been home for about 4-5 months. They were so helpful and answered my many questions. They let me know that the blessings far outweigh the difficulties, but that coming home and adjusting is hard. Please pray for us as we near the time of finally seeing our "Little Man's" face and also as we begin to discuss and learn about cocooning. I will explain more on that in another post.

New Number and Feelin Really Good!!!!

OUR NEW NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited this month to have such big movement. God is so good!