Monday, January 4, 2010

Deciding on an agency

I thought I would give you an update on our adoption process. I will say I still feel a strong sense of God's calling; however we really need your prayers. As of now we are deciding between two agencies. Our two options are fantastic and either one would do a great job. Our choice probably will come down to price. Our options are Bethany Christian Services, and All God's Children. We have great connections with both agencies.

While this process is very exciting is also is still very scary. I am not doing a very good job at believing Philippians 4:19 "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Jason will testify that I have become an extreme penny pincher in the last week. It is definitely causing friction between him and I, and above all giving Satan exactly what he wants. I remember when we first told people about this decision I said that the finances did not scare me. Well I am finding out that the finances scare me to death. My biggest fear is that if people donate money they may be looking at every cent we spend. It may seem silly, but it is a true fear of mine. Please pray for God to give me his peace. The peace that transcends all understanding.

While I know there are so many uncertainties in this process the one thing I know for sure is that God is with us and will never leave us. In one of the pamphlets for AGCI it says, " If God has called you to adoption, he has chosen a child for your family. God already knows your child by name and will guide you on your journey to find them." If that does not bring me peace I don't know what does. I am so thankful for a God who is in control. As I cried myself to sleep last night all I prayed was for God to take this anxiety from me. Please pray that I let him take this burden and that I surrender this entire process to him. Thanks for your prayers and support. Hopefully the next update will not be so heavy.

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