If you are not aware, Jason and I have decided to start the adoption process. We have felt several pokes and prods from God in the last few months. We have been praying for God's leading and voice. This Sunday God hit us over the head. It was National Adoption week, and Renee spoke in church and showed a short video. I was crying and feeling chills throughout the video. Jason and I both came home and knew that was God's clear answer that we need to at least explore this option. I am sending you all this email to explain my recent journey and to please be prayer warriors for us in this matter. I apologize ahead of time for my poor grammar and punctuation. I am writing this quickly because I only have short time before children wake up.
Although I had a naughty child last night, much of my night was spent stressing over our decision for adoption. All night long the devil was working on my thought process. My thoughts ranged from "Why do I would I want to risk my "happy life"?, What if this affects my three beautiful girls negatively?, What if we adopt this child and God takes him/her home early?, What do I do with a boy? What if it is hard and Jason regrets adopting?, What do I do if I struggle to bond with this child?, Will this child be accepted into an all white community?, Will we not be approved because of our finances?, Why us?, Will he/she ever feel apart of our family? and so on and so on. Now you can see why I was not sleeping well last night. During all of this anxiety I prayed and asked God to reveal his plan for us. What is HIS will for us in this adoption process. Why wouldn't God want us to adopt? We would be bringing another child to know Christ. At coffee break this morning Delores started off the devotions by reading Phillippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." THANK YOU LORD!!!!!! Why am I always amazed at how He works in my life. The devil thought he could win, but God always prevails. I know God will lead us down the path he wants. I know this journey means there will be hard times and good times. I know I was put on earth to serve God, not to live this easy comfortable life. After all Jesus came to earth and lived a life of pure sacrifice. Why should I do different? I know God will see us through this. I am willing and ready to surrender this to God and his will. He has to be in the drivers seat, because only he knows the direction we are going. we are just along for the ride. This may all sound like a jumbled mess, but I am so thankful for a God who never leaves us and always answers our prayers. Please keep praying for us as we determine what God's will is in this process. I admit I am still scared, but I know that God calls us to do things that are difficult in His name. I am so excited to see what God has in store for our lives. I know if we follow His guidance he will bless us.
I love all of you and covet your prayers and encouragement,
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